Fair warning...

Today I received this email notification from Robert Trickhart:

We passed our final inspection this morning, so we can move back into our humble abode. Just thought I'd give you fair warning.

Pretension Alert: Their "abode" is anything but humble.

Also, "fair warning" should have been given BEFORE they built "Monstrosity Manor", not AFTER its completion.

This morning I was awaken by what I initially thought was the sound of an airplane crashing behind my home. I rushed out to find the smoldering remains of a Google maps satellite. The police and fire department arrived immediately and cordoned off our neighborhood. A hazardous materials team followed and, after several hours, removed the debris.

I discussed the incident with the officer in charge. He said that Google had reported atmospheric disturbances to their satellite several times over the last three months - all coming from our area. The authorities now suspect the Google satellite was pulled from its orbit and drawn over our street by the additional gravitational force created by the monolith.

Immediately after hearing this news I jumped online and found that the satellite view of our neighborhood was just updated today (above). Clearly the satellite snapped, transmitted and updated a photo of the area as it crashed to the earth.

The resulting image shows my tiny home cowering in the shadow of the eye-sore next door. It narrowly escaped being demolished by the Google maps satellite, but it will never be able to escape the monolith.

- C Smith