Happy New Year...

The pub on New Years Eve is to sinners what Christmas Eve Midnight Mass is to Christians. They both serve wine and all the seats are taken up by amateurs who rarely practiced during the previous year.

Cheers to both!

- C Smith

My New Year's Resolution...

I washed my car this weekend. With all the construction at the Trickhart house it has been hard to keep it clean.

Washing my car fulfilled my New Year's resolution... my 2009 resolution that is! Just in time to make my resolution for 2010.

I think my 2010 resolution will be to wash my car again - which will be super easy if I wash it on January 1st since I just cleaned it. Then I will be done for the year and won't have to worry about another resolution until 2011 - which if I complete that resolution on 12/31/2011 I would not have to worry about fulfilling a resolution for approximately 728 days.

I just hope my car won't smell too bad if I wait that long to clean it.

I make a special resolution on "Leap Years". The next one will be in 2012. Those years I change my oil.

- C Smith

Merry Christmas...

My favorite time of year is finally here.

As you can see I finally completed decorating my home, though I didn't do as much this year as I usually do.

Target refused to sell me anymore lights so my front yard looks a little bleak. My hearth, though warm and cozy, could have used a few more holiday touches. And my annual backyard, life-size, architecturally accurate Christmas village (this year modeled after Liseberg, Sweden) only includes seven buildings rather than the thirty five I had initially intended. I would have built more but I was still working around the Mexican clay roof tile the Trickharts had stored in my yard.

Either way, it should suffice.

Merry Christmas, Dear Reader.

Cheers!

- C Smith

All the amenities...

There has been a lot of activity at the Trickhart home as they prepare to move into their new abode in the next few weeks.

As previously covered on this blog their floor tile and kitchen cabinets have been installed. This week has been devoted to appliances and window treatments.

The above pictures show the "gently used" appliances and "custom" window treatments the Trickharts have chosen for their new home. Since they are 15x over budget on the house remodel they were unable to purchase new appliances as they had initially planned. Even their choice of window treatments has been effected by the cost overrides of the home construction and the Trickharts were forced to settle on butcher paper and spray paint to cover their windows.

I will keep you, Dear Reader, posted when their furniture arrives. I am sure the Trickharts will prove to be just as resourceful when furnishing the rest of their home.

- C Smith

You be the judge…

Over the weekend the Trickharts summoned me to witness one of the final tasks of the soon-to-be-completed monolith… the installation of the kitchen cabinets.

The heavy dark wood cabinets and matching preparation island were finished with thick blocky accent molding and flanked by two wide imposing columns that will (eventually) support a great black stone countertop. The entire assemblage is anchored to the new white marble-like travertine flooring and surrounded by whitish grey walls.

It has all the grace of an anvil on a cloud.

Upon initially entering their home I thought I had blacked out only to awaken in a courthouse. The Trickharts are one bailiff and a witness box away from the having the set of Judge Judy in their living room.

The travertine is real. The cabinets are real. The cases are real.

With all the hooch gulpers in the Trickhart family I find it astonishing that the style of cabinetry they chose was even admissible. No one wants to be reminded of a courthouse when they are trying to get liquored up. If the Trickhart parties were boring before - their new parties will have all the fun of a pretrial hearing when everyone is second-guessing their second drink as they are being served from the "judgement stand". The whole vibe will reek of litigation. I can hear their aunt, Sherry Breath, now... asking for another "subpoena" when all she really wanted was another "sangria".

It's criminal.

By the way, many people don’t know this but cabinet makers are often coffin makers also. My great grandfather was a cabinetmaker, and a drunk. He was a cabinetmaker for only a week and a drunk for much longer prior. He had bouts of memory loss.

You can imagine how shocking it was for Mrs. O’Holleran to open her new oak baking hoosier to find a corpse inside. My great grandfather had switched up several other orders during his one week career but this was the "final nail in the cabinet" - so to speak.

To this day the citizen’s of Monroe County debate why Claude Bassett was buried in a six door casket with flow-blue ceremic handles and a built in flour sifter.

-C Smith