The Trickharts finally opened their house to all the neighbors who endured the yearlong construction of the monolith. Their guests reacted to this event as many of their guests have done in the past - by hurling themselves out the windows.
Maybe it was Farrah's disturbing use of "cool blue" walls and brown polka-dotted wing-backed chairs, or Nobert's decision to replay the same droning Pet Shop Boys song over and over. Perhaps it was the buffet line of burnt crab puffs and oil-drenched deep fried CostCo pizza pockets, or the lack of alcohol.
Whatever the reason - the result was the equivalent of watching passengers on the Titanic making for the life rafts.
This event played out again and again as each guest arrived then immediately catapulted themselves out the nearest window. Luckily, few made it to the house's second story before leaping or there would have been some serious injuries.
This really wasn't so much a "housewarming" as it was a HOUSE-WARNING!
Naturally I videotaped the event. I am glad I did or no one would have believed it.
- C. Smith
