Wednesday, April 18, 2012
My favorite film prop - The "Framed Swallow".
My favorite film prop (yes, I have one) is the "Framed Swallow".
Like many in Hollywood, the Framed Swallow's film debut was that of a simple prop. It was patiently perched in the background of the home of Scott Carey in the 1957 film "The Incredible Shrinking Man".
By 1960 the Framed Swallow had moved on to stardom costarring with Anthony Perkins in Hitchcock's masterpiece "Psycho" as THE prop knocked off the wall by Norman Bates after Norman discovers the slashed corpse of Marion Crane in the hotel bathroom.
Perhaps Hitchcock understood the irony of casting the Framed Swallow in this pivotal role. Neither Marion while being stabbed nor Norman while cleaning up Marion could "swallow" for themselves.
Of course there are many bird references in "Psycho" and Hitchcocks next film was to be "The Birds".
Although the Framed Swallow's portrayal in "Psycho" was perfectly stiff and lifeless, a similar role in "The Birds" would have appeared manic in any scene with Tippi Hedren. Sadly, the Framed Swallow was not to be cast in the namesake film.
And so ended the career of my favorite film prop, the Framed Swallow.
- Chaz Smith
Thursday, May 20, 2010
The British Are Coming... Really!
Friday, April 9, 2010
Housewarming...
Monday, March 29, 2010
Friday, March 19, 2010
Blair Trick Project...
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
More Letters to the Editor...
With the Trickheart's construction completed and their bank account depleted there is not much to write about at the moment, so I thought I would address more letters from my readers.
Apparently my "Letters To The Editor" column last July was very popular and now people from all over the world are writing me for advice.
Below are just a few new questions randomly chosen from the thousands of letters I have received in the past few months:
Dear Chaz:
Each evening around 8pm my aunt starts “drunk dialing” everyone in the family. This goes on late into the night until either her cellphone loses its charge, or she falls into the pool.
What can we do to make this stop?
- Lush Life.
I am not sure I understand your question. When you say your aunt is “drunk dialing” - is she the drunk, or is she the sober one calling all her drunk relatives?
If she is "the drunk" this is inexcusable… on your part. Why are you leaving your poor aunt to drink alone near a dangerous pool?
Alcoholism is hereditary. If your aunt is a lush there is a good chance that you and all of your other relatives are lushes also. So stop fighting your heritage and get over to your aunt’s house and drink up.
Dear Chaz:
My unemployed sister is constantly asking if she can borrow money. Over the past 10 years I have given her many thousands of dollars. She has not paid back a dime.
Each time she approaches me for cash I tell her I can’t afford to give her another cent. Then she tells me some tragic story and I break down and give her more money.
What can I do to keep this from continuing? I am almost broke.
- Banking On It
Clearly your sister is using you. But If you are almost broke it sounds like this problem is about to fix itself. Well done.
Dear Chaz:
Three years ago I married my high school sweetheart. I now believe I have made a horrible mistake. I think I am in love with her sister.
What should I do?
- Paul In the Family
Does your wife have only one sister? Does she have any aunts? Do you like her mother? How about brothers… does she have any brothers? Perhaps you should schedule a speed dating event with all of her relatives before you make another commitment - since I doubt you will get a THIRD crack at this family.
Seriously, Paul, divorce your wife. Forget about your sister-in-law and let this family alone… move away, far away. You are pathetic.
By the way, when you said you married your “high school” sweetheart I am sure my readers are now wondering if you and your wife were both students when you met, or were you working as a teacher in the high school she was attending?
Sicko!
Dear Chaz:
I am 40 years old and married a woman 50 years my senior. We are compatible in all respects except one. I love my wife very much but I am finding it impossible to make love to a 90 year old woman.
What can I do to overcome my repulsion and give my aged wife the attention she demands?
- Sleepless In Seattle
Oh, Lord! Another Student/Teacher Relationship I am guessing!
The solution to your problem is very simple. I will give you the same advice I recently gave a nervous Tightrope Walker from The Lockstrüm-Jaegermeister Family Circus... Don’t look down!
Yikes! These "random" letters are getting worse and worse. There are a lot of troubled people out there.
Until next time, blah, blah, blah!
- C Smith
Private note to little Natalie:
Due to the nature of your question I will be answering your letter by mail. Until you receive my reply stop using the wood chipper, and for Christ's sake don't pet sit for any more of your neighbors.
- C